Refiner of Silver

Now that the weather is nice outside, Avery, Karis and I take a walk to the park every morning.  I think Karis likes to walk because whenever we are done walking I usually get to feel some slight movement.  It's been really good as we walk to have some time to myself to think and process.  Today as we were walking, I was thinking about who God is.  His character doesn't change no matter what we go through.

I remembered a Scripture I studied back in the summer- Malachi 3:3 "He sits as a refiner of silver." At summer camp one of my leaders shared this story with us regarding this verse and the process of "refining silver."

A group of women where studying the character and nature of God
and came across this verse, and wanted to know what this meant.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver
and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith
and made an appointment to watch him at work.
She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest
beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.
 
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the
fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one
needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames
were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot;
then she thought again about the verse that says:
"He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."
She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit
there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.  The man answered that yes,
he not only had to sit there holding the silver,
but he had to keep his eyes on the silver
the entire time it was in the fire.
If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames,
it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment.
Then she asked the silversmith,
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined? "He smiled at her and answered,
"Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

I knew I was that piece of silver.  I could feel the heat of the flames all around me.  If God didn't keep his eye on me, I would be destroyed.  The flames felt too hot.  It hurts.  It is painful.  But I trust God was not only keeping his eye on me, he was sitting there holding me.  I trust that I will not be destroyed, even though there days it feels different.  It brings hope knowing this pain is not in vain.  It's producing something.  It's producing what I asked God to do in my journal a month ago- "make me look more like you."

Sometimes I pray for things and I don't realize what I'm praying.  Do I really want what I'm asking for?  I pray all the time to look more like Christ, to know what it is to trust God, to allow me to know him more deeply, to be Christ to others....  these are the common things I ask God a lot.  But do I understand the cost of him producing that in me?  Yikes.  It's hard stuff.  It's painful.  It hurts.  The flames get hot. Really hot.  

As I walked and felt Karis slightly move within me, I thought about how God was using this terrible situation to do a work in me that was ultimately good.  Do I want him to do a miracle and heal Karis?  Yes.  Do I want him to make this all better and fit what I want? Yes. But that may not be his plan.  I have to trust that his plan is good.  He is producing his image in me and he loves Karis.   That is good.  

As I walked, the ipod came on this song down below.  "To Be Like You"- Hillsong United (Glorious Ruins)  I listened to the words and let them soak down deep.  

"To Be Like You"- Hillsong United 

"All I want, all I need, 
more of you, less of me, 
take this life, Lord it's yours, 
have my heart, have it all...

Jesus, Jesus, all I want is to be like you.
Jesus, Jesus, all I want is to be like you."

Do I really want that?  Even if it means hurt?  Even if it means pain?  Even if it's a hard road to walk?  Even if the flames get hot?  Really hot?

Yes.

It's the only road to walk.  It's the only life to choose.

"So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 1 Peter 1:6-7

"We do not lose heart.....we are hard pressed, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.....We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed.....We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself......our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us a glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  What is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4