Thursday, May 8, 2014

John 11

It's amazing how alive Scripture becomes once you plummet toward rock bottom in your life.  The chapter of John 11 has been incredibly healing to me, especially because in a book I'm reading, "I Will Carry You,"  Angie Smith unpacks it so well.  It's the story of Jesus healing Lazarus and bringing him back to life.  This story is not close to my heart because I expect Jesus to heal Karis as he healed Lazarus.  It's because I learn more about who Jesus is within the story.  As I read the story I found myself, especially in these early days relating to Mary and Martha.  Their brother Lazarus is sick and dying and they cry out to the Lord for healing.

Kory and I have struggled with how to pray in this situation.  A lot of friends and family have asked us specifically, how do you want us to pray?  Do we pray bold prayers of faith and healing, expecting God to do a miracle and heal her completely?  Or do we ask for that but know that but not expect it? 

Mary and Martha send word to Jesus saying, "Lord, the one you love is sick."  What amazes me is what they choose not to say here.  They don't say specifics.  They don't mention it is Lazarus by name.  They don't ask the Lord to heal him a specific way.  And they don't even ask the Lord for healing.  They simply tell him the one he loves is sick.  And that's it.  So many times, especially now I bring my requests to God, specific requests.
          "God, heal her body."
          "God, make the fluid go away."
          "God, please let her live for at least a day."
          "God, let us hold her breathing."
          "God, fix this."
They don't do this here.  They don't tell God what he should do.  They don't give him the solution and the outcome they desire.  They simply state the problem and see what he will do about it.  You can only pray this way when you have complete trust in somebody.  In fact when I bring him my list of what I want, I'm putting a lot of trust in myself, that I know the right outcome.

Now, I don't think it is wrong and sinful to tell God what we want him to do.  There are time in Scripture where righteous people pray and actually change the mind of God.  But in my situation today, I need to learn from Mary and Martha to trust his sovereignty in my prayers.  In the book, "I Will Carry You" Angie Smith describes it this way, "The Greek word translated Lord in this passage is kyrios and denotes sovereignty.  In other words, Martha and Mary are calling out to Jesus as the One who has the power to heal, recognizing His dominion over everything, including life and death.  The word kyrios was commonly used to indicate etiquette when speaking to someone to whom you are subservient."

Mary and Martha know who Jesus is.  And they tell him they know.  This is why they can simply call out to him, telling him their brother is sick, trusting him to do with it what he will, and that is enough.  My prayers have changed from pleas and begging of specific things to simply, "Lord, the only you love, our daughter, is sick."  Laying my request before him, bringing it to his attention.  Not expecting him to move in a certain way, but simply handing the problem over to him, the one who is sovereign over all, to respond.  And that is how we rest, knowing kyrios knows our daughter is sick.

The hard part in this all is the waiting.  Which is where I find myself today.  And Mary and Martha found themselves here too.  Jesus waited two full days before he began his journy to Judea to heal Lazarus.  Why did he wait two full days?  The book I'm reading talked about back then there were  beliefs that a person's soul hovered around his or her body for a few days after death, so the person wasn't considered officially dead until after that time.  Jesus wanted to make sure before he healed him that everyone knew Lazarus was fully dead.  But looking through the lens of Mary and Martha I can only imagine what they were thinking.  Where is Jesus?  Why isn't he coming?  Is he too busy?  Does he not care?  Is this the way it has to be?  I thought he loved us?  Why would he not intervene?  The time ticked by, each day they woke up they probably ran to the city gate to see if he was on his way....no Jesus.  I'm sure they felt confused, hurt, betrayed, even abandoned.  Jesus loved their family, didn't he?  Surely he would come.  They had to wait.  Not knowing the outcome.  Now understanding the process.  Not privy to Jesus' thoughts.  They had to trust.

Here is where I find myself today.  Knowing that I've given my daughter up to him in prayer, telling him the one he loves is sick (John 11:13).  And now I wait, with my limited viewpoint, unsure of how God will respond.  It's hard to be in the "two days" that Mary and Martha found themselves in.  We wait and we wait.  But through the waiting we trust.  We don't give way to the lies that he doesn't care and he doesn't love us.  We trust that he is the Sovereign King, kyrios, and he will respond to our broken situation.

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

"We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."  Romans 8:26-27





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